He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize