Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
