I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
