doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
