Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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