Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
