sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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