My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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