9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
