New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
