Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
