You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
