and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
