i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
