She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize