What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
