i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
