you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
