I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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