Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize