just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
