I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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