He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
