If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
