what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
