I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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