some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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