guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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