five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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