Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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