We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
