Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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