My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
