This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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