At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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