I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize