she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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