I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
