the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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