Got a toothbrush?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
