last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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