Already got asked if we're dating
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
