Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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