did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
