She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
