Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
