i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
