i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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