CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
