Pappa wants mamma naked
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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