i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
