coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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