I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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