im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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