If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
