Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I want to fling myself into the sun
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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