this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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