what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize