Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
