What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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