Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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