I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
