Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
