I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
