You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
