my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
