i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
