All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
